Friday, April 29, 2011

Sarah Scoffs Katie

Sarah Palin wishes Katie Couric well as the anchor prepares to leave her nightly perch at CBS Evening News. Palin noted she may have read about it in one of the “many newspapers I read on line.” That, an apparent reference to an interview in which Palin was couldn’t seem to recall the names of newspapers she reads.



   Kissing Katie Goodbye

Sarah Palin’s joined the crowd
Who wish Katie Couric well;
The two had met, you may recall,
But the pairing didn’t jell.
Sarah heard that Katie’s out;
Can’t recall who said it.
And contrary to what some may think,
She might have even read it.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Thursday, April 28, 2011

White House issues Obama birth certificate

President Obama has produced the 'long form' of his  birth certificate in an effort to stop the controversy over where the chief executive was born.  It's time, said Obama, to move on to bigger issues facing the country.


                    Born In The USA

Some "anti-Obamans" may well hit the roof
Now that the Prez has shown the world proof
That he was, indeed, born on USA soil.
It's got some opponents near ready to boil.
He'd like to move on to more serious stuff
And address other issues that he sees as tough.
The Donald, however, is still on the stump;
We still need more proof, insists Mr. Trump.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Lack of funds disconnects ET

Scientists with the SETI Institute have shut down their powerful telescopes aimed at discovering extraterrestrial intelligence.  Officials say there's no money to continue.


                       Disconnected

Astronomers now have ended their chase
To discover intelligence way out in space.
It seems they've been paying a rather high fee
As they tried to make contact out there with ET.
But now they've come to the end of their drill
Since it's not in the budget to keep paying the bill.
In reality, though, we're just passing the ball;
If anyone's out there, they can give us a call.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Bahrain Crown Prince declines invitation

Prince Salman in Hamad Al Khalifa has decided not to attend the wedding of England's Prince William and Kate Middleton.  Bahrain's rulers have been waging a crackdown on Shiite protestors and Al Khalifa says he fears his nation's unrest might tarnish the festivities.

         Sitting Tight

Regrets have been sent
By the Crown Prince of Bahrain,
Who feels his appearance
Might cause royal strain.

He sends his best wishes
To William and Kate
But he'll stay at home
Where things aren't so great.

Seems unrest, there, at home
Has been causing some fights;
And he's got his hands full
With protesting Shiites.

©  2011  Jim Gordon

Monday, April 25, 2011

Royal couple hints at honeymoon plans

The paparazzi is gearing up for the royal honeymooners Prince William and Kate Middleton.  Meantime, the Press Complaints Commission in London is warning that invasion of the royal couple's privacy will won't be tolerated.


         A Crowning Occasion

It seems so many folks can't wait
For the nuptial vows by Will and Kate.
The press is warned that it might rue it
If its coverage tends to overdo it.
Like other folks, the pair is prone
To want to honeymoon alone.
So the royal word, in fact insistence,
Is for the great unwashed to keep its distance.

©  2011  Jim Gordon

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Easter Bunny Questioned

More and more people appear to surfing the web in search for origins of the Easter Bunny.  Experts, for example, believe early Christians "co-opted" the rabbit from pagan myth. 


 Hare, Today


Folks can't say,
For love or money,
Why Easter involves
A giant bunny.
It can be stated
Here, forthwith,
It surely stems from
Pagan myth.
Surfing out on
Cyberspace
Will find much more
Than just a trace.
While some are happy
As a clam
To think, today,
Of the Paschal Lamb.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Friday, April 22, 2011

Obama: Task force will probe price of gas

President Obama wants to be sure that no one is taking advantage of the American driver.  He says the Financial Fraud Enforcement Group will try to root out cases if fraud and manipulation.



                   Tanks A Lot


The president says it's no longer funny,
A gallon of gas costs just too much money.
So he's launching a probe to cut through the jiving
That's causing some folks to cut back on their driving.
It seems like more folks need to borrow or beg
'Cause a tank full of gas costs an arm and a leg.
So the president's looking at home and abroad
To make sure we're not victims of gasoline fraud.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Friday, April 15, 2011

Report: Half our meat may not be fit to eat

A report out of Atlanta says much of the meat sold in supermarkets may contain Staphylococcus aureus. The bacteria, which can make people sick, has been found to be resistant to some antibiotics.



                 Taint Funny

Before you sit down, tonight, to eat,
Here’s a word about your meat.
As you prepare to use your fork,
Take a closer look at your fowl and pork.
That also goes for all your beef,
Just so you do not come to grief.
A new report says pig and calf
Could threaten you with deadly staph.
So rather than be led to slaughter,
You might consider bread and water.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Penn State's president among the highest paid

A survey is said to show Penn State University president Graham Spanier is among the highest paid public college presidents. Some students, protesting the governor's proposed cuts in funding, suggest the president should consider a salary cut. The survey says it costs the university more than $800 thousand dollars a year to employ its president.



The Cost Of Education

Penn State's student body
Is protesting how the state
Is planning a reduction
That might affect its fate.

Where might they find the money
To continue on as planned?
Some would their prez to share
Some of his eight hundred grand.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon