Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Bachelor Pad contestants step up their kissing game

Season one’s kissing contest has returned to the Bachelor Pad. The winners appear to be Ella and Blake. Critics indicate it all leaves something to be desired.




                     Down The Tube

Television, ‘twould seem, has run out of gas
As it tries to please every laddie and lass;
The final result, I must say, alas,
Is TV fare that simply lacks class.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Monday, August 29, 2011

Bachmann: Just kidding about Irene

GOP presidential candidate Michele Bachmann says she was just kidding when she said Hurricane Irene was sent as a wakeup call for Americans. During some campaign stops, she had commented about Irene and the recent east coast earthquake as acts of God to get politicians' attention to the debt and deficit problem. Spokeswoman Alice Stewart says Bachmann was speaking in jest.


             Heaven Knows

Ms Bachmann says it was a joke;
Some fun she was trying to poke;
It was a bit of a prod
But surely not God
That she seriously planned to invoke.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Friday, August 26, 2011

President cancels vacation

President Obama is returning to the White House because of the approach of Hurricane Irene. He urges Americans in the path of the storm to heed their local officials and evacuate if advised to do so.



         Tempest Tossed

The president is cutting short
His family’s vacation;
He wants to help hold down the fort
And be there for the nation.

He says those threatened shouldn’t wait
As officials track Irene;
If the order is “evacuate”
Be quick to change your scene.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Romney Ignores Perry

Mitt Romney continues to campaign as if he’ll be the one to challenge President Obama in 2012. Despite Rick Perry’s growing popularity, Romney continues top aim his criticisms at the president.



            Staying Focused

Mitt Romney keeps campaigning
And doesn’t seem to worry
That he might have a problem
Vying with Rick Perry.

With both eyes on the White House,
Mitt seems to love the drama;
As he aims his criticism
At President Obama.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

English teacher ostracized

Parents of students in the Central Bucks County (PA) school district have told school officials they don’t want their children in Natalie Munroe’s English class. The teacher had been suspended in February after blogging that some students are "frightfully dim." Ms. Munroe also characterized some teens as "disengaged, lazy whiners."


                  Calling Roll

Doylestown parents seem enraged
Over thoughts of kids as “disengaged.”
Rejecting thoughts that their young minors
May be among the so-called “whiners,”
They’ve let their school officials know
They have no time for Ms. Munroe.
So the teacher’s schedule's rather slim -
With fewer students, bright or dim.

©  2011  Jim Gordon

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Redistricting helps Republicans

House Republicans are reaping the benefits of redistricting. Nearly half the states have redefined boundaries based on population. It appears the move will make it easier for the GOP to win more seats.



             Change Of Venue

House Democrats may start to fade
Because of changes being made
Which seem to grace the GOP
And fill Republicans with glee.
Redistricting appears the mission
To wipe out all their competition.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Monday, August 22, 2011

Rebels take Tripoli

Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi was among the missing as rebels moved into the capital.  Most of his security forced fled or surrendered to the invaders.


                    Searching

The rebels have moved on Tripoli;
Yet there's something they still don't know;
They've conquered as far as the eye can see
But wonder what happened to Mo.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Gaddafi says he’s staying

Libya’s Moammar Gadhafi is calling on supporters to defend Tripoli against rebels. He says he’ll stay in the capital “until the end.”  Meantime, questions remain over whether the opposition can restore order if Gadhafi is driven from power.



            Under Siege

If Gadhafi goes down to defeat,
Will life on each Libyan street
Once again enjoy peace?
Will the fighting all cease?
And who will take over his seat?

 
© 2011  Jim Gordon

Friday, August 19, 2011

Paula Deen fires back

Restaurateur Paula Deen says she’s shocked at Anthony Bourdain’s comments about her food. The American chef told TV Guide that Deen is “the worse, most dangerous person to America.” Ms. Deen says she resents his personal attack on her “character.”



Feeding Frenzy

Ms. Paula Deen
Is no food queen,
Says Anthony Bourdain.

He says there’s risk
From nuts to bisque;
He calls her food a bane.

Paula’s shocked
At being knocked
And wonders why he’s rude;

She can’t recall
Any time at all
When she gave the guy some food.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Daytime TV star switches soap operas

Actor Jacob Young is returning to The Bold and The Beautiful. The original Jacob Young told TV Guide that he’ll make the move when All My Children moves to the internet.



                       Pass The Soap

     “My dear, you look so Bold & Beautiful,”
(She felt her comment sounded suitable.)
     “It’s for All My Children on the internet.
Something I hope I don’t regret.”
     “So I read in the TV Guide,”
his friend, in answer, then replied.
     “We’ll remember it for all The Days of Our Lives
And hope it doesn’t give us hives.”
     “Just remember As The World Turns,
All the money the big cast earns.”
     “That’s what’s become my Guiding Light
And keeps my future burning bright.”
     “Since we only have One Life to Live,
Give the best that you can give.”
     “General Hospital’s next and please be quick;
This conversation’s made me sick.”

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Obama faces vacation dilemma

There appears to be renewed debate over when is there a good time for the president to take a vacation. The First Family plans to leave Thursday for a 10-day trip. Meantime, congress is on its August break and isn’t expected back on the Hill until early September.



           First Family Time

His critics say it’s a real bad time
For Obama’s planned vacation;
They seem to feel that it’s a crime
When he’s distracted from the nation.

One never knows what might go wrong
And cause a real commotion
While the president’s engaged in song
Or swimming in the ocean.

The White House, though’s in able hands
With aides alert for trouble;
And if they need the president,
He’ll get back there on the double.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

White House answers Perry

White House officials reacted to Republican Rick Perry’s comments about Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke. Perry told voters in Iowa that printing more money to boost the economy would be a “treasonous” act.



          Taking Exception

The White House is a bit upset
With what they call Rick Perry’s threat;
Jay Carney says there’s no good reason
To accuse Ben Bernanke of treason.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Tim Pawlenty ends presidential bid

Former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty has ended his quest for the GOP presidential nomination. He came in third in the Iowa straw poll behind Michele Bachmann and Ron Paul.



               Sidelined

The former governor got the word
Iowa voted; Tim came in third.
It seems the results of the first straw poll
End, in effect, Pawlenty's goal
To star in the upcoming GOP drama
As Republicans try to unseat Obama.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Texas Gov. Perry announces for President

Governor Rick Perry of Texas has his eye on the White House. He says if he’s elected, he’ll work to reduce taxes and get the government out of the lives of American citizens.



         A Day At The Office

The government’s role in our lives
Seems to give Texan Perry the hives;
And he sees relaxation
In dumping taxation
When his day in the White House arrives.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Friday, August 12, 2011

Congressional panel to deal with debt

Members of the House and Senate are forming a “super committee” to solve the nation’s debt. The bi-partisan panel will work on reducing the nation’s debt by $1.5 trillion dollars over 10 years. Some are expected to insist on revenue increases in the face of a promise by other not to support tax hikes of any kind.



               Digging Out

Lawmakers now are getting set
To tackle our o'erwhelming debt.
It appears their one common goal
Is to extricate us from the hole
And to help us all to relax
Without using that dirty word “tax.”
They plan to employ all their skills
So the nation can pay all its bills.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Tiger runs up his worst PGA score

Tiger Woods ran up his worst score ever in the PGA Championship at the Atlanta
Athletic Club.  He finished Thursday's round with a 77.  Sand and water got in he way of Tiger's quest for his 15th major victory.


    In The Woods

Tiger's round at PGA
Might rank as quite bizarre;
The one-time ruler of the links
Shot seven over par.

A fifteenth major's not in sight
'Cause Tiger's in a rut;
The question's not 'will Tiger win?'
It's will he make the cut.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

First family plans vacation

President Obama will vacation with his family at the end of August on Martha's Vineyard.  Aides say he'll be kept up to date on what's happening and will return to Washington if necessary.


                Summer Break

The president plans a short retreat
From the problems of the nation;
But he won't be far from all the heat;
He'll be in constant communication.
His readiness won't be impeded
While he's at the beach and sunning;
In the event the president's sorely needed,
He'll be sure to come a-running.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Cover photo causes stir

Conservatives in the media have aimed their ire at Newsweek.  They say the cover photo of Michelle Bachmann makes the GOP candidate "look crazy."  Ms. Bachmann, campaigning in Iowa, has no comment.


          Op-Posing

Newsweek's under fire
from pundits on the right;
They've seen Ms. Bachmann's photo
and have labeled it a fright.

Though comments from her people
are, to say the least, quite hazy,
tea party folks charge Newsweek
with making her look crazy.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Monday, August 8, 2011

Parties blame each other for credit downgrade

Political parties are blaming each other for the recent downgrade in the nation's credit rating.  Democrats blame GOP conservatives for defeating the president's plans to reduce the country's debt.  Republicans accuse President Obama of lack of leadership.


           Finding Fault

Republicans and Democrats,
When asked, took careful aim;
As for our current fiscal woes,
The other guy's to  blame.

The Tea Party and the President
Both received berating
For America's financial bind;
Which includes our credit rating.

Maybe those up on The Hill
Would be much more aware
If everyone who has a seat
Was not a millionaire.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Hiroshima recalls its ruin

The people of Hiroshima, Japan marked the 66th anniversary of the bombing that ended that nation's war with the United States. The world’s first A-bomb attack destroyed most the city on Aug. 6, 1945. Prime Minister Naoto Kan renewed his country's pledge to embrace renewable energy in the wake of the recent nuclear plant meltdown.



Ravaged

Hiroshima
Remembering
The awful devastation;

It’s looking now
At peaceful use
For nuke proliferation.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Friday, August 5, 2011

Congress disapproval rate at all-time high

Disapproval of Congress hit a new high following weeks of partisan bickering over a bill to raise the nation’s debt ceiling. The latest poll shows 82 percent of Americans feel lawmakers were more interested in political gain than the well-being of the country.



                      Polled

On the heels of that debt ceiling vote,
Comes the voters’ hue and cry –
Thumbs down for Congress, one must note,
Is at brand new high.

Folks asked to rank those on The Hill
Were ready to complain;
Most felt each member fought the bill
Based on what they had to gain.

When asked what they all had to say,
Those polled stood up to shout;
The question: On election day,
Will they vote the congress out?

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Obama celebrates his 50th birthday

President Obama received birthday greetings in the form of a toast by senior members of his staff. He and his family will celebrate with a party at the White House and a weekend at Camp David. Administration officials note that the cost of the party will be borne by the Obamas.



Birthday President

Obama’s feeling nifty
About his turning fifty
With a birthday party scheduled on the docket.

He’s feeling hale and hearty;
Looks forward to his party,
Paid for from the Obama family pocket.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Obama’s problems far from over

In the wake of the debt ceiling vote, President Barak Obama faces more problems in his bid to stay in office. Analysts say high unemployment and a so-so approval rating make re-election far from a sure thing.



             Facing A Challenge

Despite the vote on the national debt
The president’s future is not a sure bet.
Folks out of work may have lost some affection
For siding with him in the upcoming election.
High unemployment could, indeed, be a bane
To Mr. Obama’s re-election campaign.
Solving our problems would seem a tough climb;
But he’s hoping the voters will give him more time.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Tiger back after a 3-month hiatus

Tiger Woods was on the links at dawn to practice for his return to tournament golf. He’s preparing for the Bridgestone Invitational, which he’s won seven times. Asked what excites him the most upon his return, Tiger says “a chance to beat these guys.”



                         Driven

Fans await the return of Tiger Woods
To see if their man now has the goods
To resume his tournament-winning ways
After being away for ninety days.
Says Tiger, for him the biggest prize
Is a chance to beat the other guys.


©  2011  Jim Gordon

Monday, August 1, 2011

Congress to vote on debt ceiling deal

The House and Senate will vote on a bitterly fought agreement with the President to raise the limit on U.S. borrowing and forestall an unprecedented American default. The agreement calls for massive cuts in domestic spending.




           Back In Business

The White House and Congress
Had been kicking and screaming –
But now the combatants
All seem to be beaming.

Thanks to both sides, now,
There’s cash in the vault
So we can keep spending
And won’t face default.

The OK from the Congress,
Of course, is still pending
The deal that sees deep cuts
In domestic-type spending.

 
©  2011  Jim Gordon