Thursday, July 26, 2012

Romney raises British stir


Mitt Romney caused a bit of a stir when he questioned whether the British are ready to host the Olympic Games. The GOP candidate is traveling abroad in an effort to show he can represent the U.S. on the world stage. British Prime Minister David Cameron assured Romney that Britain can deal with the task.



           Gamesmanship

Mitt’s mingling with the Brits
To show he’s just the man
To represent us overseas,
Insisting that he can.

His visit coincides
With the British launching pad
For summer fun we all await:
This year’s Olympiad.

Mitt stirred up British ire
Without really naming names;
He has his doubts, he says,
The Brits can run the games.

Dave Cam’ron seems to feel
That Romney’s out of line;
And wants the world to know
The Brits will do fine.

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Tony Robbins followers treated for burns

According to fire officials in San Jose, Calif., at least 21 people suffered second- or third-degree burns while walking barefoot across hot coals. The ritual is part of an event presented by motivational speaker Tony Robbins. The “Firewalk Experience” is promoted as a way to “unleash the power within.”



                Hot on the trail

The plan was to help release power,
But soon the party grew sour;
For the man the students admire,
They all walked, barefoot, across fire.
Then it all came apart at the seams
As folks all around heard the screams.
Some wondered – could they reach their goals
Without walking on burning hot coals?
Because one of their major concerns
Is it’s really no fun – and it burns.

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Brits Ban Bikinis

The powers-that-be in London have announced that the North London Wildcats will do the cheer-leading honors for the Olympic Games. The decision appears to fly in the face of the public vote for the bikini-sporting Crystals.



            Plain English

We’ve been at the end of wits,
Awaiting all the glitz
An Olympic game permits.
But thanks, now, to the Brits
We’ll miss out on the tits.
Ain’t that just the pits?

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon

Friday, July 13, 2012

Capital Hill raises Hell

U.S. congress members are quite angry over the choice of uniforms for the U.S. Olympic athletes. Both parties are upset over the U.S. Olympic Committee’s choice of apparel made in China as the American textile industry struggles economically.



         Getting Oriented

Republicans joined Democrats
In being up in arms,
As they accused USOC
Of lacking certain charms.

The Hill is quite bipartisan
As it throws its latest rant.
Members feel the choice of clothes
Should take a diff’rent slant.

 ©  2012  Jim Gordon

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Las Vegas police subdue runaway chimps

One chimpanzee is dead, a second tranquilized, after the pair escaped from their backyard cage in Las Vegas. According to authorities, the agitated animals broke out of their backyard enclosure and started running through a residential area.



   Going Ape

Las Vegas cops,
With all their might,
Were out to face
The troglodyte.

Two chimpanzees,
Each one a pet,
Escaped their cage
And posed a threat.

Police went out
Full speed ahead;
One ape’s asleep,
The other’s dead.

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Whites-only conference causes consternation

A pastor in Alabama has drawn criticism for holding a conference for white Christians only. As Ku Klux Klan flags and white supremacy slogans surround the conference, the Rev. Mel Lewis insisted, “We're not violating any ordinances. We're bringing the Word of God to people who want it…” The conference will conclude with a cross being set on fire Friday night. Organizers say it's not a cross-burning, but rather sacred Christian cross lighting.



          Seeing The White

They said it’s nothing pers’nal;
We should get off their backs;
They’re just a bunch of white guys
That don’t hang out with blacks.

Three Klansmen started drinking
To repent for when they sinned;
They downed so many bottles,
They were three sheets to the wind.

To light up the word of Jesus,
To which they all aspire,
They took out books of matches
And set a cross on fire.

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The Nation Celebrates

Cities across America celebrate the nation’s independence with time off from the job and the annual display of colorful explosions in the sky.



Re-light The Fuse

The day, the fourth;
The month, July.
We celebrate;
I’ll tell ya why.

Two hundred years,
Well, really more;
We’ve all been free
To mind the store.

Folks take a break
Enjoy their perks
Just have some fun
And fireworks.

Then, rested up
And feeling fine,
Return, pursue
Their bottom line.

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Murdoch and Cher draw fire for tweets

Rupert Murdoch appears to have sparked a backlash for his tweets on Scientology. Referring to the recent breakup of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Murdoch said “Something creepy, maybe even evil, about these people.” Earlier, Cher drew fire for tweeting about Mitt Romney and the Mormons.



How Tweet Is It?

When some boot up and start to tweet,
They feel it wise to be discreet;
But Cher and Rupert upload scoops
With words designed to rouse the troops.

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon

Actor Baldwin says “I do”

Alec Baldwin has married his yoga instructor. The 54-year-old actor and his 28-year-old yoga instructor, Hilaria Thomas, were wed, Saturday, at St. Patrick’s Old Cathedral in New York City.



Hooking Up

Alec and Hil
Walked hand in hand
Midst fam’ly and friends
To take their stand
And say their vows
At old Saint Pat’s
As fans stood by
To extend congrats.

Did the paparazzi
Make the list?
Or opt to avoid
Mr. Baldwin’s fist?

 
©  2012  Jim Gordon